Winds Of Change
by astral-angel
Summary: A series of song-fic - the thoughts of certain wrestlers about their relationships andor the women they loveloved...Part 6 up. This fic will get slightly less angsty as each new part comes...
1. The Hardest Thing

The Hardest Thing 

**WWE**

**Series: **Winds Of Change

**Disc: **None of the characters you recognize belong to me. Song is 'The Hardest Thing' by 98 Degrees.

**Rating: **G

**Notes: **This is the first part in a song-fic series I have started. The fics are from the guy's points of views on their respective relationships and/or the women they love/loved. 

Part 1/1 

We both know that I shouldn't be here   
This is wrong   
And baby it's killing me, it's killing you   
Both of us trying to be strong   
  


He looked down on her sleeping form and tried to ignore the pang of guilt that hit him. Her long red hair was spread over the pillow, a small smile gracing her face as she slept. He bit his lip, aware of the pain he was causing her…them.

He knew that it hurt her to have to lie to her friends, day after day. He also knew that it killed her to see him with his wife, but god, what could he do? He couldn't leave Stephanie, but sometimes he thought he would die if he didn't have Lita. He didn't think that red-head knew what she meant to him, how much he loved her.  
  
_I've got somewhere else to be   
Promises to keep   
Someone else who loves me   
And trusts me fast asleep   
  
_That didn't matter though – he couldn't let it matter. Hunter let his eyes roam her face, her body. If he couldn't have her, he wanted to remember everything he could about her – the way her eyes crinkled when she smiled, the way she blushed every time she caught him staring at her.

His heart twisted as she cuddled closer to him, unconsciously seeking his warmth. His blue eyes swirled with a myriad of emotions as he recalled the conversation he'd had with Stephanie earlier that day. He sighed, thinking about how close he'd come to telling Stephanie about his affair with Lita, the only thing keeping him sane. He was going to tell her, break it off, no matter what. And then Stephanie gave him the news that broke his heart into a million tiny pieces.

_  
I've made up my mind   
There is no turning back   
She's been good to me   
And she deserves better than that   
  
_God, how could he leave her after hearing the news? He knew Stephanie was no angel, that she could on occasion be a callous bitch, but still. Not even she deserved to go through that alone. His stomach churned as he stared at Lita.

"God, baby, I'm so sorry baby…" 

The words left his mouth unbidden and his blonde hair curtained his face as he trailed his hand through her hair. The words ran through his mind like a never ending mantra, as he recalled how happily Stephanie had seemed, how her brown eyes had tried to hide their excitement.

_  
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do   
To look you in the eye   
And tell you I don't love you   
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie   
To show no emotion when you start to cry   
  
_His gut clenched as the woman in his arms shifted, her eyes fluttering open sleepily. A lazy smile curved her lips, and he blinked furiously, trying to get rid of the tears that had pooled in his eyes. The smile on her face turned into a concerned frown as she looked up at him.

"Baby? What's wrong?" 

He forced himself to look at her straight in the eye, locking all the emotion in his heart away from her searching gaze.

"Lita…we need to talk…" Hunter's already broken heart shattered even more as he spoke. He forced his mouth to move, telling her that it was over, that it had been fun while it lasted, but that it was finished. He consciously tried to ignore the tears swimming in her eyes, forcing himself to look at her directly in the eye. 

_  
I can't let you see what you mean to me   
When my hands are tied and my heart's not free   
We're not meant to be   
  
_Her whispered denials rang in his ears as he carefully schooled his face into an expression of indifference. He sat up, hoping she didn't notice the way his hand's were shaking. Turning his back to her, he pulled his boxers on, giving them both a chance to compose themselves. 

He couldn't let her go on crying – he knew that she would only end up hating herself for it later. He let the words spill from his mouth, hoping the cruel and uncalled for words would spark her fiery temper. If she got mad, then there was a chance that he wouldn't break down. 

He closed his eyes, trying to remember how Stephanie had taken his hand and placed it over her stomach – over the little baby boy or girl that they had created.

_  
It's the hardest thing I'll ever had to do   
To turn around and walk away   
Pretending I don't love you _

He pulled on the rest of his clothes, needing to get away from her before his resolve broke. He turned to look at her one last time, the cold expression on her face imprinted on his face. 

Still, he gritted his teeth and walked away, leaving the best thing that had ever happened to him behind. The random thought that this kid had better be worth it ran through his hand as the hotel room door clicked shut, and a tear trailed down his cheek.

He was so lost in his own pain that he never noticed his wife step out of the corner, the satisfied smirk on her face.

**End The Hardest Thing**


	2. He'll Never Be

**He'll Never Be**

WWE 

**Series: **Winds Of Change

**Disc: **None of the characters you recognize belong to me. Song is 'He'll Never Be' by 98 Degrees.

**Rating: **PG

**Note: **Second in series. The fics are from the guy's points of views on their respective relationships and/or the women they love/loved. 

**Pairing: **Test/Stephanie (kind-of)

Part 1/1 

_I heard you found yourself a new man   
And to see you're happy as it can be   
When you play the game that you can   
Does he give you everything you need   
In good time, gonna find   
It's too late, change your fate   
Stay away with him, take my play _  
  


He looked at her out of the corner of his eyes, hating how his heart leapt at the sight of her. He closed his eyes, the smirk on her face twisting at his heart. 

'God…how long did she play me for…days…weeks…months?'

The bitter thought ran through his head, and he sneered as he saw her companion's expression. It seemed that the princess had better find a new prince, 'cause Hunter seemed to be eyeing Lita rather wistfully lately. He smirked viciously. 

  
_He'll never be what I used to be to you   
So if you wanna play the fool   
Then make that move   
And do what you gotta do   
You'll never find a heart that satisfies you   
Cause you really never know   
But soon you'll see   
That he'll never be what I used to be to you   
  
_

Geezus, he couldn't believe what a vindictive bitch Stephanie had turned into – and Test knew that Hunter hadn't noticed. The Game had been too busy finding out how extreme the female member of Team Extreme really was…

A sardonic smile twisted his lips as he saw how indifferently Triple H had been treating his wife lately. 

'Was he worth it Steph? You left me for him, a man who barely acknowledges your presence, yeah, he was worth it all right…'

He taunted her in his mind, the smirk never leaving his lips.

  
_Does he even have a notion   
What you really feel inside   
Are you going through the motions   
Living in a life that let you satisfied _

For a man who called himself the 'Cerebral Assassin', Hunter really wasn't very smart. You'd think he would try to hide his affair better…practically the whole roster knew by now. Obviously, no one was going tell Stephanie – they knew better than to incur the Game's wrath. Of course, she already knew.

  
_At night, be in love   
Something telling you it just ain't right   
Not to say, out of play   
When you're waiting, do you call my name _  
  


'Hey Princess…how does it feel? You weren't even married to the guy two months and he was cheating on you…at least I would have been faithful…'

The blonde vaguely entertained the thought of going up to them, and then dismissed it, a satisfied sneer on his face. 

He was happy. Stephanie was married to a man who didn't love her, and Hunter had to give up the best thing that ever happened to him. Yeah…all was good in Test's world. 

  
_(He'll never be me)   
I gave you all love   
What were you thinking of   
Guess it was just a game   
And it's all the same to you   
Too late to try again _

He shrugged, an unconcerned expression on his face. Who cared if Stephanie's surprise pregnancy announcement had quickly followed her seeing her husband making out with the redheaded diva in a locker room?

'I loved you…and you tossed it away…you deserve everything you get…' 

As far as he was concerned, Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley was history – he just didn't give a damn anymore. He walked out of the lunch area without looking back.

  
_This time I'm moving on   
And what you gonna do…_

As a result, he completely missed the sorrowful look the brunette sent in his direction as he left.

**End He'll Never Be**


	3. Down For Life

Down For Life WWE Series: Winds Of Change 

**Disc:** None of the characters you recognize belong to me. Song is 'Down For Life' by K-Ci & JoJo.

**Rating:** PG

**Pairing:** Chris Jericho/Ivory

**Note:** 3rd in series. Also, the series is going to get less angsty with each part.

Part 1/1 

_I've been lookin' at a photograph of the time   
When life was so much simpler   
Didn't have a lot of things in life, wasn't much   
But we sure had some fun   
Lookin' back on things, you appreciate every day   
The joy and the pain and the laughter   
I kinda make you wish that we were still in love _

He looked down at the photo in his hands, an unreadable expression on his face. He traced the outline of the dark-haired woman with his finger, his blue eyes swirling with emotion. 

"What went wrong with us Ive?" The words left his mouth in a quiet whisper as he recalled how happy they had been. 'Been' being the operative word.

He frowned, thinking of how they had argued, how they had fought. It seemed unreal sometimes. He stared down at the laughing faces of himself and his ex-fiancée, desperately searching for a hint, a clue as to why things had changed so suddenly.  
  
_So what, what I'm tryin' to say to you   
Is that I'm still in love with you   
And I want a second try   
And what, and what I wanna hear from you   
Is that you feel the same way too   
And that you're down with me   
You're down with me   
You're down with me for life   
You're down with me for me   
  
_

He quickly slipped the photo into his pocket as the other wrestlers began drifting into the room in groups. He had a reputation to protect you know…couldn't let anyone think that he was still hung up on his ex.

Chris smirked as a thought struck him. Of course, he wouldn't be the first wrestler to do that. The roster was full of them. He could see a couple of them in the room right now in fact. 

Lita couldn't help sending furtive glances towards Triple H, even though she said she was happy with Matt. Hunter couldn't stop glaring at Matt every time he touched Lita, while still playing the role of the doting husband and soon-to-be father to a baby that didn't exist. 

Stephanie on the other hand was busy alternating between sending deathly glares towards Lita, fake loving glances to her husband and a few heartbroken looks in the general direction of Test. As for Test, well, he was in the process of hitting on anything with breasts and very obviously ignoring Stephanie.

What's the saying, misery loves company? Nice to see he wasn't the only one brooding here…

His thoughts once again drifted back to the brunette he had loved, a small smile replacing the smirk. Who was he kidding? He still loved her, would always love her.

He tried not to let his expression change as Ivory walked past him, his gut clenching as she didn't even register his presence. Yeah, he was still in love with her all right.

Now if only she would give him a second chance…

_  
I've been thinkin' 'bout some arguments that we had   
That now seem, oh, so petty   
Lookin' back on things, it makes you feel kind of dumb   
We wasted so much time   
Look around, you must appreciate everything   
Our lives are full of blessings   
Kinda makes you wanna go back and get it_   
  


He looked at Ivory discreetly, the smile on her face making his heart do a little flip. A frown appeared on his face as he thought back, sifted through his memories. He didn't know if she had smiled once during the last month or so of their relationship.

He glanced around the room, noting the assortment of smiles on the faces of the wrestlers. Some were from the heart, like Ivory's, some just smiles for the sake of smiling, like Lillian's and some were forced like Lita's. With a start he realized that the only one's actually smiling and/or pretending to were the diva's. The other's just looked anywhere in between bored and extremely pissed off.

It made him want to go back, back to when things were all right with the world, where being in love made everything else pale in comparison.   
  
_What, what I'm tryin' to say to you _

_Is that I'm still in love with you _

_And I want a second try   
And what, and what I wanna hear from you   
Is that you feel the same way too _

_And that you're down with me _

You're down with me   
You're down with me for me for life 

_You're down with me for me_   
  


Chris stiffened imperceptibly as he saw Angle's arms wrap around Ivory from behind. He tried to hide the scowl that appeared on his face, desperately looking away.

'Guess that's my answer there…'

**End Down For Life**


	4. Yesterday's Letter

**Yesterday's Letter**

**WWE**

**Series:** Winds Of Change

**Disc:** You know the drill. None of the characters you recognize belong to me. Song is 'Yesterday's Letter' by 98 Degrees.

**Rating:** PG

**Note:** 4th in series.

**Pairing:** Bubba/Trish

**Part 1/1 **

I wrote a letter yesterday   
Just trying to explain   
Couldn't find the words to say   
Cause you are so far away, so far away   
  
I wrote a letter yesterday   
It's so hard for me to face   
That it had to end this way   
But my love will never change, will never change   
  


He stared at the monitor, ignoring the friendly banter between his brothers. The match going on was nothing special, just a little time filler before the main event. He wasn't interested in the match though – his attention was currently focused on the blonde diva crying out in pain in the ring.

Bubba stared at Trish, aware that he probably had a wistful expression on his face. He shrugged internally – D'Von and Spike knew what his feelings for Trish were, would always be. 

To tell the truth, Bubba wasn't quite sure when things had changed between the two of them. It seemed like one day they were completely in love and the next it had been over.

Maybe he had just been blind. Maybe.

  
_When I search my soul to find the truth   
About the love we shared   
I wonder why you're no longer here   
  
You can just walk away   
But I don't feel the same   
My heart still beats for you   
Craves for you   
Sings for you   
And those feelings will never fade   
I can't hide my pain   
I can never hide the way I feel for you   
  
_

He wasn't ashamed of the fact that everyone knew how hung up he still was on the blonde diva. He knew that she was hiding something from him, but somehow couldn't seem to bring himself to confront her. God knows he'd tried enough times. The words had just gotten stuck in his throat, unable to leave.

He would be content with loving her from afar, would make himself be content. Bubba smiled instinctively as Trish won the match, Stephanie writhing in the ring, all pretences of her pregnancy long gone.

  
_I've been talking in my sleep   
About the way it used to be   
Girl I pray that you hear me   
Then I'll see you in my dreams   
Oh, in my dreams   
  
Well I can't forget the words you said   
To pull away from my life   
And no matter what I'll carry you inside   
_  
He finally looked away from the monitor, realizing that his brother's had left at some point in his inner musings. He closed his eyes, dreaming of her even while he was awake.

He sighed, trying to forget what she had said that last time, the defiant way she had glared at him, the hateful glances she kept throwing at him, but knowing that he wouldn't.

Still, he couldn't stop loving her; no more than Lita could stop loving Hunter or Jericho forget Ivory. Hell, even Test couldn't ignore his feelings for Stephanie, even though he seemed to be doing pretty well with Stacy.

He knew that it confused some people – the way that he accepted that Trish would always be a part of him, always with him. Actually, Bubba thought that the roster had enough people happily living in self-denial without adding himself to the mix. 

_Sooner or later your gonna realize   
That this type of love happens once in your life   
So open your eyes girl   
And see what we could be   
  
_

He guessed that part of it was because somewhere inside him, he still hoped that she'd come back to him. That she would say it was all a big mistake, that she hadn't meant it when she said that she didn't love him.

Yeah, that was why he accepted it so easily. He just wasn't sure if he loved or hated that part of himself.

_You can just walk away   
But I don't feel the same   
My heart still beats for you, breaks for you, sinks for you   
And those feelings will never fade   
I can't hide my pain   
I can never hide the way I feel for you _

He remembered how tense her shoulders had been, remembered having to fight the urge to rub her shoulders. 

The fact that she'd just broken up with him hadn't really sunk in for a while. And by the time it had? She'd already walked away…

And he'd accepted the fact that it was impossible for him to do the same.

**End Yesterday's Letter**


	5. Now and Forever

Now and Forever WWE Series: Winds Of Change 

**Disc:** None of the characters you recognize belong to me. Song is 'Now and Forever' by K-Ci & JoJo.

**Rating:** PG

**Pairing:** Chris Benoit/Dawn Marie

**Note:** 5th in series. 

Part 1/1 

_They're always running around   
Telling me I should be free   
But there's no kind of way   
I'd let them take your love from me   
You see I'm not one who goes on   
Speculation, hearsay, gossip _

He stared at her sleeping form, frowning as he saw the tear tracks that trailed down her cheeks. Her dark hair curtained her face as she shifted closer to him, unconsciously seeking his warmth. 

He knew that she was afraid that he'd leave her one-day, that he'd give in to what the others said. He didn't know how to convince her, didn't know how to make her understand.

He wasn't going to leave her, wasn't going to give up on their love because of her past. He couldn't, wouldn't. He loved her too much.

  
_But I'm a firm believer   
In trusting, caring, and loving   
My love for you is so timeless   
It's deeper than the depth of emotion   
And everyday goes by, I am finding   
The reasons that I love you more and more   
Now and forever will I love you and be true   
Now and forever will I keep what we have new _

Chris wasn't quite sure how someone so beautiful, so perfect had managed to fall for someone like him. But amazingly, she had. Even with all the shit she'd been going through, all the flak she'd been getting, she'd still managed to steal his heart. 

She moved restlessly, her perfectly shaped mouth twisting into a frown. He looked down at her, his blue eyes concerned. He gently stroked her hair, the soft motions seeming to soothe the woman slightly. 

God, he loved her so much…it made his heart ache with it sometimes. He put so much into this relationship, his heart, his body, his soul. And she was worth it…worth more than he could ever hope to give her. And now, well, he couldn't live without her. 

  
_I will cherish, adore you   
Trust and give my all to you   
Now and forever will I always love you   
I'm not entrusted in starting all over again   
To give you up on someone's words   
It's not something I'd do _

He sighed, propping himself up on his elbows. His face was expressionless, but his eyes shone brightly in the light from the moon. His heart clenching, he remembered how sweet she'd been when he'd asked her out, how she blushed every time he'd paid her a compliment. 

The others didn't see that side of her, didn't know it was there. They only saw her as she had been in her past, never as she was now. And he knew that it killed her. 

Okay, so dating Torrie's father wasn't the best route Dawn Marie could have taken, but it wasn't the end of the world. He wasn't going to walk away, not from this relationship, not from her.

Whether she believed him or not, she really was the best thing that had ever happened to him. And he'd be damned if he let what the other wrestlers thought affect him.

He couldn't be like Bubba and accept that the woman he loved wasn't with him. He also wouldn't be like Triple H and destroy the best relationship he'd ever had over some misguided loyalty issues.

Chris smiled softly, stifling a yawn. When it came down to it, he just couldn't leave her.

  
_I wish we could sail away on an ocean   
Float away on midnight dreams   
And we don't need a magic potion   
So we can live inside our dreams   
Now and forever will I love you and be true   
Now and forever will I keep what we have new _

He settled back on the bed, his head resting on his pillow, a sleepy look entering his eyes. What he wouldn't give to stay in this dull, depressing room forever, only for the chance to have her always in his arms.

His eyes slid shut, his arms wrapping around Dawn Marie. He loved her, and she loved him. For now, that was the only thing that mattered. 

The rest of the world could wait till morning.

**End 'Now and Forever'**


	6. My Everything

My Everything 

**WWE**

**Series: **Winds Of Change

**Disc: **Characters aren't mine. Song is 'My Everything' by 98 Degrees.

**Rating: **PG

**Pairing: **Edge/Stacy

**Note: **6th in series.

Part 1/1 

The loneliness of nights alone   
the search for strength to carry on   
my every hope has seemed to die   
my eyes had no more tears to cry   
then like the sun shining up above   
you surrounded me with your endless love   
Coz all the things I couldn't see are now so clear to me   
  
She looked like an angel, he decided, watching the sunlight play over her golden hair. She **is** an angel, he corrected himself, thinking of how she had helped him.

He'd been so surprised when she'd sent him the bouquet, a huge bunch of cheery sun flowers. He didn't really know her that well, and she had been touched by the gesture. He'd ended up calling J.R, to get her number and had thanked her for the flowers.

They'd begun a tentative friendship, made even more fragile by his constant mood swings. She'd simply smiled and waited them out, saying that he'd just had neck surgery, he was allowed to be crabby.

Edge figured that that was the moment when he'd fallen for her. He'd tried to hide it from her, believing she was happy with Test. That had been before she'd shown up on his doorstep in tears, having caught Test in bed with her best friend.

He'd been ready to tear his fellow Canadian apart. Instead, he'd comforted Stacy, tried to be there for her. Through the following months, he'd been oblivious to Stacy's growing feelings for him, not picking up on any of the hints she'd given him.

He'd finally figured it out after the blonde had thrown a glass of water in his face and called him an 'obtuse prick' after he'd been flirting with Lita.

  
You are my everything   
Nothing your love won't bring   
My life is yours alone   
The only love I've ever known   
Your spirit pulls me through   
When nothing else will do   
Every night I pray   
On bended knee   
That you will always be   
My everything   
  


The redhead had laughed at him for weeks and somehow managed to convince Stacy that there was nothing going on between the two of them. The tall blonde would be forever grateful to her for that.

He smiled, his blue eyes sparkling as he watched her. She'd been there for him, always supporting, even when he'd go into random bouts of depression; despairing of ever returning to the ring.

To be honest with himself, Edge had to admit, that if it hadn't been for Stacy, he very likely wouldn't have made it this far. She meant the world to him.

  
Now all my hopes and all my dreams   
are suddenly reality   
you've opened up my heart to feel   
a kind of love that's truly real   
a guiding light that'll never fade   
there's not a thing in life that I would ever trade   
for the love you give it won't let go   
I hope you'll always know   
  


He found it hard to believe that he loved her so much. It hadn't been that long ago when he'd thought he'd never lover love anybody, never be able to trust someone that completely again. 

After Christian had turned on him, he'd sworn that he'd never let any one get that close – he wouldn't let anyone have that sort of power over him again.

Yet, somehow, she'd managed to break down his walls, had wormed her way into his heart and settled there. And she hadn't even realised she'd been doing it.

He loved her so much it scared him sometimes. But he wouldn't give it up for the world.

Every night I pray   
down on bended knee   
that you will always be   
my everything   
oh my everything   
  


**End My Everything**


End file.
